Tuesday, October 14, 2008

A Monumental Occasion

The last few days have been quite exciting for our little popsicle. On Sunday afternoon, she attended a birthday party for the first time. Her very good friend Lily Sitarski turned one! I'm not sure she knew she was at a birthday party, but she was pretty content anyway. On Monday, she FINALLY got to meet her Uncle Matt and Aunt Vicki, who flew all the way from Guam to meet her. (OK, so they had a wedding to attend as well, that just happened to be convenient for them.) She has heard so much about them and has met just about every one of her aunts and uncles but was holding out a little special lovin' for Matt and Vic. She went to the Iwaszkowiecs' for dinner last night to celebrate the Weltons and life and friendship. She seemed very pleased to be in such a warm place with ridiculous quantities of great food, tasty beverages and wonderful friends. We were able to see pictures of their travels and Carolina is already well educated on Guam, Bali, Mt. Fuji Japan, Kyoto Japan, the Australian outback and avoiding coconuts that were "rinsed" (fell into) in the "river" (sewage). And we learned a new tip, those crazy big bouncy balls that people use for aerobics and such are magical baby spaceships. Leigh bounced her for a few minutes and she was rendered nearly unconscious for much of the night.
Carolina finally gets to meet Matt

She's a big fan of Johanna and Vic

Amie, Carlos, Jon, Me, Jeff, Matt, Vicki, Johanna and Rachel via Skype from Seattle.

Lily at her 1st birthday party

worth a thousand words

These are some of her more beautiful poses as of late.

Friday, October 3, 2008

If you have not read the book The Shack, you should. (http://www.theshackbook.com/) It's a story about tragedy and God and how the two collide. It resonated deeply with us as we wandered through miscarriages and failed fertility procedures and wondering why God wouldn't bless us with a child. The main character experiences deep hurt that lingers, the kind that lets you get on with life but without passion or desire. He refers to it as The Great Sadness. The darkness that hovered over us for almost six years was likened to that. We were able to live and live well even at times, but a pervasive cloud made every snapshot a bit dim, every memory saddened. I would never have wanted to admit that having a child was a bargaining chip with God, but it sort of was. I still trusted God and listened to Him, but I had an issue with Him about it. As one week has passed since Carolina's arrival, I realize that she was the breath of God. He took six years to inhale deeply enought to blow The Great Sadness away in one sweet gust. I know it gets harder this being a parent, and I'm okay with that. I'm ready for it. And I know, too, that this little girl will break my heart more than it has been yet. She'll get sick or date a loser or get drunk at 16 or worse. But it won't be the same as The Great Sadness. It's gone now. Every difficult experience from here on out will bear the resemblance of the breath of God. I see it in her, and it's better than anything I've known.